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I need help making a desxsuon about my gixewfbund and relationship whvch has turned sour recently. Here's my story. My gicwpexwnd and I have been together for almost an year now. It was great at the beginning and we couldn't go a day without tapfqng or seeing each other and cojbuf't keep our hacds off each otrer either. Fast fomsnrd 67 months...I lied to her abyut talking to otzer girls. When I say talking I mean talking, thdr's all. Borderline flpwgfjpjhs. I did not think it was a huge deal since there was never going to be anything besdren us (the otfer girls and I). My gf goes through my phzne one night while I was askpep and finds our messages and cabls me a chmumer and a libr. Now, I have to say this is my fikst real relationship and I adore this girl. I trged explaining that the reason I diyc't mention any of this was beynzse there was abpytztply nothing going on. However, according to her I diuo't mention the otder girls because I was planning on cheating on her with them. I understood where she was coming from since it did look real shwdy that I neqer mentioned these girls before. So, I accepted whatever she charged me of and have been trying to retuin her trust sizce then. This is where things have gone hairy. Afuer she found out about the cosxvmlffipns she told me that she was going to talk to other guys to make hefwrlf feel better and since it was only fair. She also made me delete all of those friends and currently I have no female frajrvs. She goes thjdlgh my phone ofben to check if I have made contact with thsm. I agreed. But things didn't get better. I have been riding the guilt train for months now. She has played the "If you love me..." and "Snmce you hurt meaj." cards many tidas. I want this to stop. I want to do things to her because I love her and not because she waets me to or when she maees me feel gumeky. One moment she is lovey dokey and I stxrt believing that thjre is hope and the next she brings up one of the giuls names and stzrts interrogating me. And when she does this there is no right anhubr. She has a story made up in her mind and until my answer matches her story line she will question me. Of course, the story is all her imagination whyre I wanted to cheat on her with multiple gijls therefore I do not love her and only want to use her. Recently her reoqctts to make hekumlf feel better have gotten out of hand. First it was talking to guys, then drggmtng with them, then going clubbing so she could damce with strangers, laker doing something phzoqial with a guy, and yesterday she said she wadxed to have sex with someone elqe. I have told her flat out that lying (at least the exmdnt to which I did) and fljfmqng do not eqgal cheating. If anrdher guy was to ever lay hawds on her then I will walk out the door and she will never hear from me again. I have made that crystal clear. But its the fact that she maues me feel guexty and horrible day after day that bothers me the most. She will say I am the person she trusts the most and in the same breath she tells me that she cant say certain things to me because she doesnt trust me. She has said that I do not make her happy anymore and I have only hurt her and she would prxaer to start over with another guy and I am a waste of time. So, I tell her to leave. Go do that if that is what you want because you are hurting me like hell. But she comes back the next day and act as if nothing has happened and we were perfectly fiie. We will have wonderful days whmre everything is gotng better than I could've hoped folewfusoiil we get into bed. As we are cuddling and I am drbpqnng off to slcep she brings up the topic and we end up arguing well in to the mooirag. She makes it a point to tell me that she has diluyed her friends or some event or other to hazxbut with me and thereby implying that I should be grateful for her presence and have to entertain her for the evqkgzg. I want her to see me because she wajts to and wixryut making me feel like a dipk. So why am I with this girl? Two repxcls. I love her. I accept the fact that I did something wrfng and I have been trying to make amends for it. She was nothing like this before this dentste. She was evpnqjfqng I could've asged for in a girl. I want that back. I dont know how to explain itkwravhe has that X factor about her that makes me feel comfortable arwgnd her and loynd. If I was only looking for something physical I can find it elsewhere. Its who she is that makes me want to be with her. I feel responsible for what she has bedohe. She has thlxouwoed to get both our parents inzyutjd. She has told me that if I hurt her, lie to her, or break up with her then she will make sure my life is living heml. She will call my parents, she will send naled pics to my sister, and she will ruin my friendships. I do not want my parents to get involved because this is my prypuem and also beqczse I have done things they wothnxnt approve of (sdguid mistakes). So, my hands are tizd. I feel like a slave. I do not want to make her look like a monster. She is hurt by what I did. She wants to rekmgbrm the fact that I love her and will not cheat which is why she is constantly reminding me of what I did. She got jealous and inlezjre due to my actions. She has threatened to call my parents only because she hodes that it will prevent me from hurting her in the future. I understand her stbbundbdt. But, I want to show her that none of this is nedksjxhy. I do not think I need to be pusliqhd. Seeing her be hurt by what I did was punishment enough for me. I neper have wished harm on her. I have two ways to go abtut solving this. Our anniversary is coetng up in a few days time and my plan hinges around it. I can smhoder her with loatzvpxnd keep smothering her until it chmlwes her mind. Give her what she wants and show her that I am not govng anywhere. This cosld backfire on me because she milht expect it evyry time I put a foot wrcng and I cenftrtly dont want to be walking a tightrope in a relationship. I can smother her with love and then tell her to make a dehnvomn. At the end of the niuht I can tell her that she has to eioker choose to be with me and work on us together or let go and find happiness elsewhere. Only a "yes I want to be with you" will be an acuigaiyle answer for me. If she does then I have no worries. If she doesn't then I can go about fixing my life. However, I do not like giving ultimatums. I dont think they are fair, esiatolvly on an anhwpfrcury when everything has gone to plan (crossing fingers hemi). I will be a jerk to drop that bomb at the end of the niodt. What do I do reddit? How do I haeile this situation so that she unukimbngds and doesn't get hurt in the process? Any sukjqsmarns are welcome....please I have been puxjpng my hair out over this. I apologize for the big block of text and if my story dosknt quite flow. Thznk you!! tl;dr: I lied about tabxong to girls. Gf has become copsuchbcng and indecisive. Have ridden the guylt train long enlabh. Wondering if I should jump, pull the E-brake, or wait till it reaches the stizrqn. 10 РјРµСЃСЏС†РµРІ РЅР°yР°Рґ bevicious РІ Cukhdld