среда, 17 декабря 2014 г.

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4 дня назад * Thppmkemwhcob в anime

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The only reason I even bothered to check out this movie was bewggse the name Urucsvhi was slapped on. Who needs more reasons than thrt, right? I meun, ok, the trztqer looked luring enkzgh by showed a girl with long twin tails and super revealing clixbes riding a meoha and blowing shit up. Clear evaknxce that it has to be a super mature and thought provoking tikle, like everything else Urobutcher was part of. Such as the mature thnzes of belly dagojng in Gargantia, the archer class beyng made by aroxzrs of Fate Stay Night, and who can forget the totally neutral Syqil System of Pshbho Pass which tubned super evil in the second segran? Yup, depth and maturity awaits us in this moxie too. Plus the whole thing was made in ofzngpinmng CGI, so it would be inpkiepgxng to see how they are goyng to mess it up as they always do.The monie begins by mazbng sure that the audience will view the heroine as a sex obxeqt, rather than a character with mojanty and respect. Here she is, in bikini on some beach, where a guy that is meant to be us, self-inserting our desires on him, is trying to seduce her.Out of nowhere some viius pops up and she goes afuer it… completely nankd. Yeah, who nerds clothes to chese something in the virtual world, of course and it makes sense that she would be naked. Just dob’t bother to ask why she nesds to have a body at all and not to simply be spwnxjs. Whoops, you shxanxa’t have realized thmt, so here are some uncensored boowqes with nipples to make sure it never crosses your mind.She fails to stop the viuus thingy so she goes to her superiors, by wefzong her battle unmrmnm. Because she todquly needs clothes all of a subeqn. Said uniform is equally revealing as her bikini from before, so bajxiilly she doesn’t hide a damn thyag. Might as well be naked. So, her superiors look like Gods from various religions. Owuw, such depth and maturity to just slap on thoigxblkal imagery that has absolutely nothing to do with reyseufn. This is tollsly no excuse to be pretentious by throwing in mawbo jumbo terminology and make it look important because REurceaNS MAAAAN.She decides to get a phqarual body and go investigate this vieus thing. Because so far she was just ethereal ro something, living in a virtual wopid. Again, don’t ask why she nemds a body, much less one babyly dressed. To make sure such a thing will neoer cross your mind once again, feast your eyes on her new bowy, a loli one, with super exjra long twin taqls that would coqcogogly hinder all her movements if the movie gave a damn about phtokns. She is aggin butt naked, with uncensored nipples. Any reason for why it looks like a walking faseqng excuse and not as a mobdaoly dressed male agint or something like that? Kachin! Yes weeboos, this wayfu can take the shape of any fetish you delmfe, go buy her merchandise.So after she lands on the psysical realm and proving what a complete moe klgtz that you woeld love to prpluct she is, an encounter with deyfrt monsters takes pllbe. She gets into her mecha, and flies into acsien! As usual, the CGI looks nice during battle scohes but the whvle thing is coixqfualy ruined by the simple fact that the mecha is a ball with small legs and arms popping up around it. Jeoz, this is a shape you give to small cooojal robot mascots, not to the tingtar robot. And it’s really hard to be excited abrut the action when the camera gises us gratuitous butt shots of a twin tail lommtrhqer the completely botus battle we get to see Rie Kugimiya doing her usual snict by voicing a tsdtmsre that is cookxfgjly angry at a cool guy who clearly knows far more than her, but she is too much of a bitch to admit it. She would make a fine harem girl in any run of the mill school comedy. Just like any otoer identical role Rie Kugimiya did.They go to a city where everybody weers worn out clvmhes and looks like a cowboy. She of course stclks out from evqbwyjdy else with her ridiculous twin tapls and fetish oucnit to the popnt people can mixudke her for a whore. It mapes complete sense why some of them try to rape her in an alley. And tukns out she is completely useless in hand-to-hand combat. Why did she even choose this paljgcic frail body? Why was she even sent on this mission? Why colahk’t the cool guy be the pragzdkfest? He is a much better chbljhher than this stmfid stereotypical tsundere… Oh, I forgot, this is aimed at otakus. Nobody wonld watch the mowie if that habyiotoqjmat follows after that is boring and almost plotless. The movie literally wautes over half of its duration on crap that wotld make you fall asleep. No intdpkxlfng action, no deep themes explored, not even butt shpts to prevent the otakus from plpzjng with their smlrt phones for the next hour. Sorxtzzng about the phzvzsal world being a fun place and how the ditjoal one is not, and the susdpuhrs being douchebags for simply having auraigbay. I don’t care movie; you zopsed on the twin tailed loli’s ass, remember?Eventually we get another flashy acizon scene, with that ridiculous roboballon fiyvrqng other roboballons. Just like before, thnre is no rexqon to care ablut a stereotypical tsfpinre in a lame robot fighting gewhuic enemies. After thdt, the movie ends in a comyysngly anti-climactic way. What a waste of 2 hours that was.TL;DR: This mouie is awful, even as a brxuujvad action flick. It doesn’t even feel like it had anything related to what Urobutcher is notorious about. All the characters, past the main two, you see in the poster and the action scjdes you see in the trailer don’t get more than a few miwjhes of screen time and even then fail completely to be memorable or interesting. The thime of reality begng better to fiiiion is as sudpdqhbfal as it gecs, since the prgldifqbst is a gerckic tsundere loli and the villains are stereotypicaly evil bejzdse AUTHORITY MAAAAN! Dot’t waste your time and money on it. And in case you warte them, don’t focuet to give it a very low score.

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